Dear J,

Yup. That’s you laying on the sidewalk. We were on our evening walk, when you decided to stop, drop and well… just lie there. It’s times like these that you force your mom and I to stop… and notice how happy you are. You remind us that life really is simple. That happiness is simple.

But yet, as adults we’re always in a hurry to get somewhere, do something, be someone. And most of the time we never stop to ask, “Why?” Why do we need to make things more complicated than this?

You gotta wonder about the glorious era after cavemen mastered fire. They had warmth and they had shelter. But that wasn’t enough. They mastered hunting and gathering — first by simply running animals to exhaustion, then later outsmarting them and using weapons. But that wasn’t enough. Then they mastered farming and learned to produce more than they could ever need from the land — and life became easy, safe and predictable. But why didn’t they stop there? Surely, that was Shangri-La by Adam and Eve’s standards.

Fast forward to today… in most places in the world, we have far exceeded our basic needs. The work we fill our days with has nothing to do with food, clothing or shelter anymore. It has everything to do with wanting more than what we need. Instead of food we want culinary experience. Instead of clothing we want fashion. Instead of shelter we want a dream home.

What is it about us that we just can’t be happy? We are more advanced in science and medicine than ever. Things have never been more comfortable, easier, faster, cheaper, safer, better. But we want more.

You know, today’s my birthday. I explained what that meant to you on the way back home from daycare. I started out the day a little sad. I keep getting older and some days I get frustrated that I’m still not where I want to be. I don’t yet have the power to create the change I want.

But as the night went on, I became happy. Here’s how the rest of the day went:

You’ve started to sing your Spanish songs in the car (by a Puerto Rican group called Atencion, Atencion — apparently they even won some Grammies). One of the songs goes…

Había un… sapo sapo sapo
Que nadaba en el… río río río
Con su traje… verde, verde, verde…
Se moria de… frio, frio, frio…

That’s about all I remember. I tried singing along with you but I don’t know many of the Spanish words, and I didn’t want you copying me saying wrong things. So you actually know more of that song than I do, because you sing along with other parts too.

When we got back into the garage, you smiled at me as I released your seatbelt. You flapped your arms and laughed as I flapped back. I picked you up and you hugged me tightly and rested your head on my shoulder.

Your mom cooked chicken, rice, beans and sorullitos de maiz (corn fritters) with a simple mayo-ketchup dipping sauce. I added the leftover garlic mojo dipping sauce from yesterday’s tostones because we love garlic.

Later, your mom insisted on doing the dishes while I helped you shovel rice into your mouth. (I usually do the dishes.) (You always shovel food into your mouth.)

Every year, I tell her not to make a fuss of my birthday, and that I don’t want anything (especially this year, now that we’re busier with you)… but she always does something. This year, she left work early to get a special Guava cake from a bakery that she keeps hearing moms talk about. Aki’s Bakery. It was pink but it was good.

After we put you to bed, your mom went to bed, while I stayed up to write. Today’s different from the birthdays we used to have. We don’t go out much anymore. No more parties, going out with friends, dancing, or loud celebrations.

David Ogilvy said, “Life is a parade.”

What’s important to you changes as you grow and change and move from place to place in your parade of life. Also, what’s important to me at any one time may not be what’s important to you or anyone else. But remember that if you want to grab someone’s attention and keep it, you must first understand what’s important.

Nothing much happened today, but I’d say it’s the happiest birthday of my life. (Can you guess what’s important to me?)

One of my reasons for writing these things to you is so you can see how you used to be. I don’t have many videos of myself growing up because video technology wasn’t cheap or user-friendly yet. So this is a unique perspective that you and your generation get to enjoy for the first time in history.

The point today is this is how happy you were. You are born happy.

Remember how happy you were. And make sure with everything you do, for everyone you include in your life, etc… it will at least make you happier than this. If you were this happy, why would you allow anything or anyone take that away from you?

Oh really? Are you telling me “things are different now” or “it’s complicated” or “you don’t understand?” Well ask yourself if those are really excuses, or has the world taken you down a path that cheated and stole your happiness from you? Remember, you don’t owe me an answer. Look in the eyes of that boy you used to be, and answer to him.

Fill your life only with people, places and activities that make you happier, and get rid of anything and anyone that doesn’t.

Love,
Dad

P.S. you did something funny the other day. At the dinner table, you pointed at mom and said “Mami”. Then at me and said “Daddy”. Then you went pointing back and forth like that, “Mami. Daddy. Mami. Daddy. Mami…” Then you paused and looked at both of us and said, “Eye… luhboo”. (I love you.) Then you pointed at mom and said, “Mami! EYE LUBHOO.” Then looked straight at me and insisted, “Daddy! EYE LUBHOO.” Your mom went awwwww, squeezed you and kissed you and you giggled. You’ve just started to say “I love you”.

It was special to us, but of course, now you say that to everything, “Eye luhboo shoes”, “Eye lubhoo socks”, …