Hurt my back again, bouncy houses this time (and dinosaurs)

Dear Js,

Aww jeez. Just as my back was healing up from the trampoline park, your friend had to have her birthday this weekend… at an indoor “bouncy house park.” Of course I re-injured my back.

Like the trampoline park, this was an indoor place. But instead of trampolines, the warehouse had wall-to-wall bouncy houses. See for yourself:

There was an obstacle course:

You said the slide was “too deep” at first. Good thing her parents invited all your daycare friends. You were used to playing with them, talking with them, and most importantly… following them in a line. So when the braver kids marched up the steps, everyone else followed. You were last but you followed. Like lemmings, all of you slid down. You hesitated at the top for 10 seconds, then thought what the heck and jumped. And then you realized it was fun and did nothing but slide for the next 20 minutes. Peer pressure is cool.

Julie came with me for a bit so mama could join in the fun too:

You and mama sick

But still the happiest baby in the world. Nothing ever gets you down. Even when the nurse jabs you with vaccine, you cry for 3 seconds and go back to laughing, smiling and bouncing. Here you are with a fever, and yup – still smiling and laughing and playing. I don’t know how you ended up such a happy baby.

I’m sorry. I know I promised last time to write more to you about you. But your brother. He drains me. He captures so much attention that when I turn to you, it’s just a relief. All you need is a smile, and you smile back. And all you want is a hand, shoulder, collar, and some hair to pull yourself up on to stand. But when I try to pick you up, you push off and crawl away.

Fever schmever

I’ll tell you something. Even though mama’s nose is stuffed, there’s a mountain of tissues on her desk, her head hurts and she’s tired, she’s not sleeping yet. Wanna know what she’s doing? Working on her presentation for her upcoming group workshop/program. She wants to work on the newsletter a little too. I knew that was unrealistic, but I didn’t say anything. If she wants to put her mind to it, I’m not going to hold her back.

Maybe that’s where you get it from.

This was after a chat we had a few days ago. We talked about the different stages a person goes through in his/her transformation from drone to self-actualized independent productive member of society.

1. Make your 1st dollar (mostly a mental barrier)
2. Advertise yourself as “I do X”, “I am X”, “I solve X problems”, etc
3. Realize that business is about helping people
4. Start to see that there are opportunities to help/improve people everywhere
5. Master spotting opportunities, serving people and taking money — transcend “me” thinking to “how else can I help others” thinking

She complained about how she wishes she could do more. By the way, everyone wishes for more time and wants to do more. But what successful people know is that it’s not about time. It’s not even about doing a lot. It’s about doing every little bit you can, especially when other people feel there’s no time to even get started.

Because the little bits add up.

I made her reflect on how far she’s come, WHILE taking care of a baby and a toddler. Just by squirreling away a few hours or minutes here and there. Sending an email, meeting people, setting up events, putting something in motion. Doing something small, anything. Because every thing you do, no matter how small, moves you forward. If you wait for the right time, the right time will never come and you’ll be exactly where you are, at ZERO. But if you do something, something will happen.

And the little somethings add up.

There’s another secret power that is unleashed when you do little somethings. It’s less about what you do. But about the fact that you do. Because what’s more powerful than results is habit. If you get into the habit of doing something, it is much easier to be productive when opportunity pops. And the more likely you are to get results because you get to take more shots.

E.g., when the chance to produce a newsletter came up, because of all her investments in herself and in other people she’s worked with, she could win the deal. Because she made her slides for the non-profit classes, when the opportunity to host her own paid workshops came up, she just had to dust off her slides and tweak them.

And as for me, writing to you two regularly keeps me from getting rusty. Sorry for you because I can ramble, but good for me 😉 Thanks to you, writing a few thousands words regularly is not a big deal. It’s not easy, but I do it often enough that it’s no big deal.

I’m not going to lie though. Every time I think of sitting down to write, I groan. My most common excuse is I don’t know what to say. But I force myself to write something anyway. And then the devil voice shuts up and magically, every time, once you get going, you keep going.

Creative destruction

When you want to be creative, or innovative, a hint to figure out if you’re on the right track is to think of what you will end up destroying. This is an idea called “Creative Destruction” or “Schumpeter’s Gale“.

Successful creations destroy. They destroy old ways of life and old industries. If your creation doesn’t destroy, it is not valuable enough. If you want to know if you have a good idea, ask: “What it will destroy?”

When innovation happens, things become obsolete and people lose their jobs. This is distressing. But it’s natural, like hurricanes and rain. We cannot stop it and we shouldn’t try. When businesses that serve a market become obsolete, fold and close jobs, creative destruction is happening. E.g., what we discussed the last time: decreasing transaction costs causing outsourcing to kill local jobs. The wrong reaction would be to try to prevent the jobs to be outsourced. The correct reaction is to recognize that technology increased efficiency, reduced transaction costs and triggered Creative Destruction. The old markets will die. The new markets killed them.

Conversations with a 2-year-old:

First he said he was a Shark.

I said I’m a Sharktopus. He said what is a sharktopus? I said I’m a shark with tentacles.
He said no you cannot be a shark, I am a shark.
I said I’m not a shark, I’m a sharktopus.
“No!!! I am a shark!”
I said sharks need water. He said “Where is the water?”
I said you can use your imagination.
Then he said he was a Whale Shark.
A whale shark? You have a spout. Like in the Duck Feet book.
He said “NO! I have no spout, I’m WHALE!”
A whale has a spout. He said no, I’m a shark! A whale shark?
“No! A Whale Shark! I’m not a pretend shark!”
Then I realized what he was saying… he is a REAL shark, not a WHALE shark. He just pronounced REAL WEAL.
Then somehow we started talking about foxes.
He said foxes look like doggies. I said doggies used to be foxes.
“WHYYY?”
Because doggies’ great grandma and grandpa were foxes.
Foxes live in the jungle and the forest.
“And the zoo.”
Some foxes like to stay with people. And some run away.
The foxes that like to stay with people become doggies.
“Kimi used to be a fox!”
Kimi’s great grandma and grandpa used to be a fox. When foxes stay with people for a long time, their baby is a doggie.
“A baby???”
Not a person baby, a doggy baby. A doggy baby is a puppy.
“Like Clifford.”
When we stopped the car he asked me, “Why are we talking about foxes and doggies?”
I said because you said foxes look like doggies. They’re… kind of the same.
“Um. Um. They’re similar”
Yes.
I said I’m a fox!.
He said, “I’m a doggy!”

Another gut punch at drop off

“Daddy, sometimes I pretend that I’m at work with you”
That was too sad, so I gave him a few better things to pretend, like:

“Sometimes I pretend that I’m flying”
“Sometimes I pretend that I’m swimming like an otter”
“Sometimes I pretend that I’m a dinosaur”
“Sometimes I pretend that I’m a dinosaur flying an airplane”

So we went back and forth like that until we got to school. He went to count domino dots with JP, then Ms Gina called them for potty time and he hopped in line.

But then today you said, “Daddy, sometimes I pretend I’m at work with you.” I tried to redirect you again. But you said, “Daddy. Can you pretend to be at school with me?”

Last week, Bill Nye, a man who brought science to the living rooms of children across the world, debated a creationist.

Mama thought I might like it, but I wasn’t sure. This was what I replied:

While I like Bill Nye and I enjoy guys like Christopher Hitchens destroy Creationists, I don’t like watching these things anymore.

Because to me it’s like watching two people argue about what they think is the problem but not the real problem.

The real problem is that as human beings we crave meaning. You can see how desperately Joshua and even Julia struggle to understand.

But the problem with meaning is that there are different ways to find it. It takes someone who can endure a certain amount discomfort and torture to uncover the answers through science.

Viktor Frankl, a holocaust survivor who studied the difference between the victims who made it, and the ones who lost hope was simple – the ones who survived found a greater reason to keep living. He said, “Those who have a ‘why’ to live, can bear with almost any ‘how’.”

The majority of the people in the world are either in some pain that they can’t wait to understand the answer through science, or they don’t have the tools/habits to put in the work to understand the answer through science.

Because of this, God will always exist. Especially to those who suffer the most. I almost want to say that Science is a luxury of the privileged.

In the same way as the difference between two children who learn about the way. One child has a parent who patiently answers all his Whys and explains difficult concepts like “Where do dogs come from” (Foxes). Vs One child whose parent doesn’t have the time or energy, and answers, “Jesus made dogs.”

I have one thing to add to my theory that “Science is a luxury of the privileged.”

Think about all the children in the world and how they learn. There are the two types of children – one of which whose parents try to patiently answer all his questions and explain difficult concepts like “Why do some dinosaurs’ name have Saurus and some don’t” or “Where dogs come from.”

Compare with the other type of child whose parents don’t have time or energy. It’s much easier to answer, “Because Jesus made them.” Or “Bad things happen because God is not happy with you.” Or “Eat your vegetables or the big bad wolf will get you.”

One of those types of children grows up as a scientist.

The other grows up to be a Creationist.

This week in pictures

Construction:

You made Challah with mamah:

Eating pear:

Mama adopted a bear from another mom for $5. You named him Kiki and her little bear is Bahgah:

Love,

Dad

P.S. Things keep getting worse in Puerto Rico. Someone was shot right outside your cousin’s house. The kids saw it. The parents said enough is enough and they’re moving in with their family in Florida. Their mom is your Abu’s sister. So if they’re moving to the US, there’s a good chance Abu is too. I hope she moves close by. It would be nice to be able to go out with your mom at night and have some grownup time to ourselves.

P.P.S. J2, you can climb stairs now. Yet another skill to challenge mama’s sanity. You can also wave now, so I’ll let you say bye…