Happy Birthday to me, I’m off to the plane with you three!

Dear J,

You said, “I want to eat the middle, you can eat the outside.” You want us to have birthdays because you make them your birthdays.

This letter will be shorter than usual. We’re leaving for Puerto Rico tomorrow night. Today’s Friday. We haven’t packed. We’re a mess. We even almost forgot Julie’s birth certificate. We hadn’t collected it since she was born. So mama rushed to get it today. We’re going to spend tomorrow packing and figuring out what to do with the produce still in our fridge.

Our nice neighbor offered to take care of Kimi while we’re away. She joined us for our evening walk today. Then I gave Kimi a bath, cut her nails and gave her her medicine. Good as new. We’re spending some time at her place tomorrow. I hope she will behave.

Check out what you made for me!

We visited a Co-Op school on my birthday. I was late. Before we could start the tour, you ran off to the yard. Mama called us back. I ended up missing the whole tour. You rode the red bicycle. Then the silver one. Then just as I almost wrangled you back to the tour, you found the sand pit, which had… DIGGERS. Then you ran back to the bicycles. Then you found the bicycle’s bell. Then I gave up rejoining the tour and just let you play. I chatted with one of the moms who was in charge of the children by the playground.

It gets dark at 6.30 pm these days. I get home at 6. So the crickets are already chirping by the time we reach the park. You seem to have gotten off your train binge. We’ve been going to the park. We’re usually the only ones there. You go up and down the slide. I do some pull ups. You ask me to sing the zoo song.

So sweet you give her cavities. Mama stubbed her toe on the bed frame and you threw yourself on the floor and gave her a kiss. You said, “I make it all better.” Mama almost cried. Yesterday, mama was sharing her story about the time she had gall stones, there was an ambulance, and she had to go to the hospital where incompetent doctors failed to diagnose her. You ran and hugged mama, “Mama, I’m worried for you.” She had to explain that she was talking about the past.

“I don’t want to grow anymore”. Mama said you need to eat oatmeal so you can grow. You took a bite, then said, “I don’t want to grow anymore. So I can eat goldfish (crackers) now.”

Deep, Existential talk. One evening, I put you outside with your scooter. I said wait, I need to lock the door. When I turned back, you were gone. I ran to the courtyard. You were by the street. I ran to you and you laughed. I said look at me. It’s not funny. I’m not laughing. You asked, “Why?” I said because there are cars on the street. If a car bumps into you, you can get hurt. You said, “If a car bumps into me, the car has to go to the car mechanic.” I said if the car bumps into you, there could be no more Joshua. You said, “If a car bumps into me, there will be no more Joshua. Only Mama, Daddy and Julia.” And we will be sad. “Why?” Because you are our son. “I’m mama’s son.” You are mama’s son and you are daddy’s son. “Why?” Because we made you. “Before you made me, there was no Joshua.” Yes…

It was strange how you walked through that using logic, without any emotion. You were okay with the fact that you can exist or not exist.

I’ll blow your house down when I’m happy. J2, you pant when you’re excited. I press my face up to you and you go, “Huff Huff Huff Huff” with your tongue sticking out.

You know, mama said to you one day, “Sorry Julie your life is so rushed.” I replied for Julie, “As long as I can be close to you, mama.” I said it’s rushed because she gets to be close to you. It’s not rushed if you have someone raise your kids for you. She said, “I will always be close to you.”

This week in pictures

Brother teaching sister:

Re-enacting Clifford’s Halloween Howl: “Why did Clifford bark and bark? Because he didn’t know it was Shun’s flute. Aeeiooooooo!”

We’re leaving soon! I hope I have everything! Because there’s no time to get anything now. We only went shopping two days ago for gifts. What gifts? Food stuff that you can’t find in Puerto Rico. I bought Chilli Black Bean sauce to make noodles for everyone. Mama bought some curry and other Asian sauces to share with her family.

And for the plane ride, to hopefully keep you two out of trouble, mama bought you a few toys you are not supposed to open yet:

The next time I write, it’ll be from Puerto Rico!

Play us off, Julie:

Love,

Dad

P.S. Mama has gotten 3 new clients in less than one week. And remember the flyer we made last week for mama’s support group? The owner of the store loved it. She cut it out, reached for a frame behind her counter, popped it in, and hung it for all to see. Advertising is not advertising when you do it right. It’s helping someone.