3 days at a secret beach paradise (for families with kids)

Dear J,

I don’t know how we’re getting you back to school. I don’t even know what story we’ll have to concoct to trick you to come home.

Today you cried for half an hour because you realized it was Sunday: “I don’t want to go back to school.” We said, it’s okay, you don’t have to go to school. We’re in Puerto Rico. Then you said, “I don’t want to go back home.”

Yesterday, you said, “I want to stay at the beach :(” You didn’t want to leave Isabela. I don’t blame you. We spent three days at a blue beach house in Isabela. Isabela is a unique place where the waves from the ocean break over a “shelf” that makes a beach with little waves. The water on this shelf is 4 feet at its deepest and the waves are calm – making this the perfect beach for children. It’s also far from the city so it’s quiet and you don’t have entitled drunk kids fowling up the place.

The beach was your backyard for three days. The sea was your pool. The waves were your sleepy sounds white noise machine.

Day 1

It was a 2+ hour drive to Isabela. Julie didn’t like it, cried. Mama discovered she could nurse in the car, said, “Why didn’t I think of this sooner?” Crisis averted.

When we got there, you sprang out and I ran to take you to the waves. Meanwhile, mama checked in. “Why is there soap?” That’s not soap. That’s foam. “What’s foam?” Foam is tiny bubbles. Do you know how you pour water and there are bubbles? “Same thing.” We walked down the sand steps to the licking waves. You stared at the swells and crashes up and down. Up and down.

Then I showed you it’s okay to touch it with your feet. You joined me and stepped onto the wet sand. You held my hand. Waves broke and spilled around your ankles. “Oooo cold.” I turned back to see a big one coming – *WOOSH* a wall of water up to my knees rushed toward you.

I lifted you up by your arm holding my hand and scooped you in. The wave blasted your hips and your pants got soaked. “Why did you pick me up?” You didn’t understand what happened. So I explained it and put you down. When the next wave crashed, you screamed and shook like drops of water hitting a frying pan. I showed you how to get to higher ground and said waves can’t get you if you go high enough. You didn’t trust me at first. But then you saw how the waves lose steam as they climb higher up the sand.

I said, let’s go look for mama. I didn’t have my phone and I had no idea which house we got.

We checked in and dropped our bags. Let’s go! Where’s Joshua’s swim stuff? Mama looks around, tries to remember, then stares at me in horror. “Did I leave them? I left them. NO! I left them.” She winced, slapped her forehead and went to hide in the bedroom. I said to her, “Forget it. I’m taking Joshua to the beach.” We’re here, we’re going to have fun. I grew up with kids who cannonballed in white undies you could see through when they got wet. Some had no undies. Nothing was going to stop our fun.

We made 5 trains in the sand. Then you wanted me to make the entire cast of your Thomas the Tank Engine books. I said, let’s dig a hole instead. The hole was our construction site.

I said I was Digger Daddy. You said I was “Cement Mixer daddy.” I asked you who you were. You said, “Bulldozer Joshua (raawr). DUM I make a thunderous sound.” What about Julie? “Excavator Julie.” Mama? “Crane truck mama.” Abu? “Dump truck Abu.” Titi?”

It wasn’t until later that I realized that you had named us all after the cast in your “Goodnight Goodnight, Construction Site” book:

The sun went down, we had to go. You said, “I don’t want anyone to take our trains.” I said, “The waves will do cleanup time for us. And tomorrow, we will make more trains.”

Day 2

Off we go:

“I want to talk about the big waves.” Even though we spent 3 days by the beach and did many things, you remember the first day best.

Where do beach trains sleep at night?

We pitched a tent. The wind tried to tear it down but we said we’re humans, so we win:

We made a sandcastle:

I didn’t have many big goals that day. I wanted you to get comfortable with waves slapping around your body. Water is calm in a pool, and the randomness of waves can be scary. And there’s salt water splashing near your face. I taught you to spit out the water. You liked my fountain but you could only make bubbles. After a while, you said I want to go to the 5 ft part. You were curious but you didn’t want your legs to drift from my body for too long. There was a lot to take in. Soon, you got sleepy and curled up in my arms.

It was lunchtime. All of you went home while I stayed with our tent. I played some Minesweeper while waiting:

Then I got busy relaxing:

Then titi relieved me so I could come back home for burger and naptime:

We slept with the sound of crashing waves and singing coquis.

Day 3

I slept in. I woke up to an empty house. I called everyone’s phones. No answer. I guessed you were all at the beach. I rummaged for food. Half a bowl of your uneaten cereal – swiped. Scrambled eggs on the stove – scooped it into the bowl to go. Ran out shoveling the bowl into my face. Mama, Abu and Mariel took you guys out to play in the morning:

Mama tried to persuade you to swim with your floaties. She didn’t get to join us yesterday. Maybe she was a little too excited, because you resisted. Mama didn’t have much time because she was on Julie’s schedule. Of course, after she left, you eventually warmed up to the idea. We went out again. You said, “I want to go to the 5 feet part.” I said okay, you need your blue tiger floaties.

It took a long time of going in and out, until finally I lured you out with sand. You swung around me like a Clownfish in corals. Then you wanted to go back. Then I said look I’m kicking. I said you can kick too. You said, “I’m moving you!” Then you tried to spin me around. Then you stood up and said, “I want you to kick and I’ll pull you.” Okay. You led me deeper. The water went up to your chest. I said I want to walk. You said, “NO, I will walk. You kick.” We went deeper. I said I can walk here. “NO NO KICK.” The water was up to your neck. You were almost floating by your floaties, hopping on one foot.

I thought, this is good progress. You seemed confident.

Then a little wave smacked you in the chin, and water went up your nose. “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!” I said, it’s okay it’s just water. “AAAAAAAAAAA!” Okay, you must have inhaled it and it was burning. I said blow it out. You blew out your mouth. Through your nose! You blew out your mouth again. Then I said wipe your nose like this. You didn’t try. I didn’t want to destroy your little nose, so I did the next best thing – I pinched it. You stopped crying. Does it feel better? You nodded. I did it again – you cried, but less. Okay, I knew we just needed some time.

I held you in my arms and you buried your nose in the side of your floaties, hiding from the waves. You didn’t want anything to do with the cruel waves anymore. After a while, you started fussing. I asked you if you were cold. You said yes. So I took you in. When it got shallower, I said look, you can stand here. It’s sand. You stood up, and forgot you were tired. You smiled and said, “I want to pull you and you can kick.” You led me back to the sand, then remembered you were cold when your chest got out of the water.

I took off your wet clothes, wrapped you up in two towels and carried you home.

You know what was my biggest surprise after 3 days at the beach? No sunburn!

The Beauty of Puerto Rico… and the Beast within

It’s sad. Puerto Rico is gorgeous. The people are beautiful. But it’s eating itself alive inside out. The current unemployment rate is 14%. Once, it was over 20%. The country has more than $50 billion in debt outstanding, which equates to about $14,000 for every man, woman, and child on the island. This is 10 times the average level for the 50 states of the union. The island is expected to run a deficit of about $1 billion this year alone.

Then there’s pensions. Puerto Rico owes almost $35 billion to current and future retirees, but has only set aside 5 billion. A quarter of the workers on the island work for the government, so it there are no good prospects for the economy to grow its way out of the current mess.

But how does it stay afloat with all this debt? A sneaky loophole: Puerto Rico enjoys triple-exempt status, where its debt is exempt from all federal, state, and local taxes, no matter where you live. 75% of the bond funds hold Puerto Rico debt in the form of bonds, because its tax-free interest is seductive.

But underneath the paradise, two arrows pierce Puerto Rico’s economic heart. (I think.) Without surgery, nothing else will stop the bleeding. Puerto Rico is falling downhill because it’s not making enough money. Most of the wealth in the country comes from domestic trade. The government cannibalizes its productive citizens with increasing taxes and fees. International trade has shriveled. Worst of all, the aging Boomer population paying all the taxes and keeping the country afloat will soon be gone.

What can Puerto Rico export to bring wealth into the economy? There are only two kinds of exports: Goods and Services. Goods – like China – requires that people perform manual labor, or fire up factories and a manufacturing industry. But the younger generation refuses to work in the sun. They shy away from physical labor. So no chance there.

Services then? Like India – where talent is the export. The tricky thing about exporting talent is you need communication. Spanish is the first language here. But the countries that import Spanish-speaking services aren’t good buyers – they’re in financial shambles themselves.

How about tourism? The island is gorgeous. But it’s not a clear win, because Puerto Rico is surrounded by neighboring Caribbean islands that offer the same experience for less. That’s the trouble of being bound to the US currency. You get the same vacation elsewhere for fractions of the dollar.

I figured out the root of the problem. The cancer destroying the country. The sickness is in the mind. The worst thing that the US did to Puerto Rico was make it a territory. The effect is this 3rd world country thinks of itself as a 1st world country. People here get offended if you call Puerto Rico a 3rd world country. But it is. I grew up in Malaysia. I’ve been to Vietnam, Singapore, Thailand. Puerto Rico lags a decade behind. The mentality is very different.

In developing countries, the mentality is, “No one knows where we are on the map, so we have to do something outrageous or be the best at something.” Even if it’s gimmicks like The World’s Tallest Building, hosting the Olympics or The World’s Largest Roti Canai, there is a pride. A pride of being the underdog that showed up the big dogs. China’s proud of its culture, discipline, hard workingness. India is proud of its own Silicon Valley and “Hollywood”.

China isn’t too proud to bust butt working in factories. India isn’t too proud to do the jobs no one else wants to do and outsources to them. But Puerto Rico is too proud to work. It acts like the kid with his rich parents’ credit card. Because of the association with the US, the country still lives in mama’s basement. It was never forced to grow up. It never had to make it on its own.

Why not? The two dominant parties jockeying for leadership want to either be a Commonwealth, or the 51st state in the USA. Sadly, the 3rd popular party that wants independence don’t even have 20% of the voters’ support. So if either of the top two parties are in charge, nothing will change. They offer no path to economic recovery. Just more promises of an open bar aboard a sinking Titanic.

That’s the trouble with democracy. It relies on the majority to make the right decision. But the majority is always wrong. The majority want to enjoy a rich life but don’t want hard work. So you get corrupt politicians bribing citizens for votes, dangling hookers and showering cash prizes with sweet promises – just to win the election – but not to lead a nation into prosperity.

Puerto Rico will go bankrupt. My guess is in 10-20 years. There is no hope for recovery. It will be Occupy Wall Street at a national scale with the loudest majority making demands like a crybaby child who only cares about what he wants. Instead of an adult who reasons what’s right and what’s wrong.

But until then, investors will mooch off this tax-free debt. They want to lock in yields as high as they can get and enjoy the tax-free interest for years to come. And jump ship at the first hint of Puerto Rico bellying up.

There is a wild card though – business. Even without a nationwide change or central leadership, businesspeople and entrepreneurs can ignite local change. A private business serving international customers can overhaul a city. For example, India has virtual assistant campuses. It has its own Silicon Valley. But this only works if there are entrepreneurs who love the country enough to stay and fight the good fight. Because there are better places to do business. It only works if people are willing to work hard. And have children who also value hard work.

It’s sad. Abu is planning to leave soon, along with the other productive citizens the country has driven away. This could be our last visit to Puerto Rico.

I just took a swig from my can of Medella. It’s warm. Everything gets warm quickly here. I cooked my Dragon Noodles for Abu Vicky’s side of the family earlier. They found it too spicy. (People don’t really eat spicy here.) Then I put you to bed and fell asleep myself. But I woke up at 1 and didn’t want to feel like I wasted my day, so I came to write to you guys.

I also had some of these as a late-night snack:

Can you guess how Bulldozer Joshua likes to fall sleep at night? Reading Goodnight Goodnight Construction Site of course. We’re now a truck family and we’re stars in the book. You refer to yourself in the 3rd person, “Bulldozer Joshua is sleepy…” Then you look around: “Dump truck Abu is already sleeping. Excavator Julie is sleeping. Titi tractor is taking care of Lola. Cement mixer daddy is sleepy too. Crane truck mama is busy (she was by the sink).”

Julie – you rolled over back to front to back. I tried to take a video after that, but you didn’t do it again.

But your brother does it best… “HAAAAAAAaaa- Hhahahahaha” – try not to laugh watching this:

Love,

Dad

P.S. Mama fell sick after the beach. Fever, shakes, sore all over. We feared dengue but it cleared overnight. Phew. I couldn’t handle two of you alone. At the pool that day, you said you wanted to sit on the side. We sat for a while, just staring at the water. “Why are there no waves here?” Because we’re at the pool. We’re not at the beach anymore.

P.P.S. You did a #2 on the big potty!

P.P.P.S – I forgot this funny moment. At the airport, you asked me, “Why are you Chinese?” I asked you, “Why are you Chinese?” You said, “I’m not Chinese, I’m English.” A Chinese lady sitting beside us started laughing. Mama said, “You’re not going to win this battle.” Okay, you’re English.

P.P.P.P.S – J, I fell asleep again, trying to put you down for naptime. When I woke up, you were giggling with your finger in Julie’s mouth. I said, “Hey, don’t do that.” I can’t fall asleep with you loose anymore.